We live in the middle of nowhere - OK, it's really on the edge of nowhere, however, even on the edge, I access the internet at dial-up speed. It's not even the fast dial-up speed that many of you enjoy - some mornings it's at 28.8.
I can hear the screams and gasps - how can you live like that? Well, it gives a whole new perspective to "surfing the web." I can click on a link, go and fold a few clothing items and return to see the link scroll up. It's called multi-tasking.
Seriously, I have called our telephone provider (starts with a Q and rhymes with west) and asked when high speed access might make it to our corner of the world. Allow me to add that I have always been pleased with the telephone service and even the customer service - until this point. I was told (and I'm paraphrasing here) that we would get high speed access when approximately seven of my neighbors, on the same line, were interested. End of story! Well, I muddled through possible ways to determine who shared the same telephone trunk line. The one that came immediately to mind was that I could cut the line - no, that would be vandalism and I would lose my access to the outside world. No, that's not an option.
Hmmm, do I even know my neighbors? Define neighbor - is that everyone within a 1/4 mile radius? That's one farm. Two miles - that's two (including the 1/4 mile neighbor) farms. The radius would have to broaden to nearly five miles, or more, to come up with seven homes - and do they even own computers? How do you go about making those telephone calls. COME ON telephone company - is that customer service???? Do you even care if I want to check my e-mail in less than five minutes?
Well, back to multi-tasking. The dryer just buzzed and breakfast is ready. Maybe I'll take time to read the newspaper tomorrow.
P.S. Did I mention that we can't even get cable? It's OK, don't send cards or flowers, I'm actually alright with that.
