The easiest day was yesterday.

Meaning

I had a patient recently quizzing me as to the meaning of my first name.  He told me that the source was Iranian and that it means 'sweet.'  I'm not sure how accurate he is/was - but I might be OK with the information.

Changes

Looking ahead - changes.  Looking back - cannot.

Feelings?

I used to have the pleasure (?) of working with the mental health units of a  large hospital.  Occasionally an individual from one of the units would come through my office and ask me, in the course of conversation, how I was.  Generally my response was "fine."  "Oh, fine is not a feeling" was the 'appropriate' psychiatric response, "how do you really feel?"  Today my response would be 'numb.'

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”

Emerson

The other side of the desk

I have now spent one year (plus a few months) on the 'other side' of the healthcare 'desk' - in the clinical arena.  I can see where nursing can become very myopic - not seeing the big picture of the entire hospital, feeling like they are the only ones who care about the patients, when in reality, the entire facility should be about providing excellent patient care, in whatever capacity.  I see the value in the surveys - if the results are used as tools and not clubs.  The view from the other side of the desk...

One week before BMT

My kids

Trust

Trust - when lost - is impossible to recover.

Camp

Reminder to savor the warmth

Time flies

Time flies when you are having fun or so someone once said. Time has flown, fun? Well, not so much. Last Tuesday I completed an LPN degree with many prerequisites completed toward an RN. Now to find a job - 3-11 please. There are those who say to simply repeat it over and over again and it will be so, there are others who say to do it the old-fashioned way (get off your butt and make it happen), and here I am. Wishing I did not have to go through the agony of pleading for a job - one that everyone said would be knocking my door down when I finished a nursing degree.

Learning, Growing

I am feeling the pressure of having homeschooled our children since first grade/kindergarten/when they could say “mama” or whenever the first teachable moment occurred. Our son is 1.5 years away from heading off to university and the pressure is enormous.

Now, some would say that if I have done my job correctly he would be perfectly prepared, but I keep thinking of more things I should have taught him. Does he know the present perfect tense of every verb known to man, can he spell those tricky three syllable words that crop up in conversation only once in a lifetime, will his writing skills pass muster in his first composition class, who was the leader of Germany in 1856 (was there even a united Germany at this time in history?), what are the former names of all of those African countries that keep changing, will his instructors ask him who exactly taught you and why didn’t you change schools? The questions keep piling up and I am having difficulty finding the forest for the trees.

Ho Ho?

I drove through Fargo after dark on Wednesday evening (not a hard thing when ‘dark’ comes at 5:30pm) and saw the street lamps are already festooned with wreaths, the stores have their ‘holiday’ decorations in place and it is only the beginning of November. This is beginning to support my theory that we never really need to put it all away. If we can put the decorations up in October, why not leave them until March? It is only a matter of time until the holiday finery is left up year round.

Cell Phone Death

No, this isn’t one of those news stories about the possible link between brain cancer and talking on your cell phone 24/7, but rather an obituary for my cell phone. On Monday I turned it on, checked voice mail and it was perfectly intact. Tuesday evening (with no known trauma) when I went to make a call the internal display was black in some areas and very fuzzy in others. It still receives calls and I can make calls, if I know your number by heart. True, the battery life isn’t what it should be, but I love my little phone. Our technologically savvy son (aren’t all teenagers this way?) was able to back-up my contact list of 253 wonderful people (many of whose numbers I only have in my cell). Now I wait for my husband to decide if we want to extend our contract and go with the BOGO phones or if we make an outright purchase because I am finding it increasingly difficult not to conduct business as I zoom up and down 94 at 75 mph.